Ennui – from Indifference to Apathy

I ask you – who would think that an animated coming-of-age film, Inside Out 2, would help put words to my feelings, my twisted psychological reality?  Surely not me!  Inside Out 2 adds 4 new emotions to the existing Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, and Disgust (from the original Inside Out).  The 4 new emotions – Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and Ennui.  I must admit 1.) I regularly deal with Anxiety, Envy, Embarrassment, and 2.) Ennui is a new word to me.

Ennui, per Oxford, “is a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement.”  Webster adds, “…a type of chronic boredom that involves weariness, dissatisfaction, and apathy, as well as the tendency to feel that everything is uninteresting and unfulfilling.”  Bolding is mine. 

Ennui – could this be the same as Viktor Frankl’s existential vacuum - referring to loss of life interests and a lack of initiative and proactiveness, leading to deep feelings of meaninglessness, from Man’s Search for Meaning.

Wow – such a critical word, Ennui, a newly added anchor word in my vocabulary.  Ennui – the deep, dark place at the bottom of my emotional blackhole - “whose gravitational pull is so strong that – within a certain distance of it – nothing can escape, not even light.” (per science.nasa.gov)    The black hole’s gravity pulling me from Joy to Anxiety to Ennui.

I am not sure if you can sense the importance of this word to me – I have been searching for a way to articulate this psychological state - an omnipresent pull from my desired state of INDIFFERENCE into the abyss of APATHY or “lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern,” per Oxford.

I am trying to embrace Ignatius of Loyola’s definition of INDIFFERENCE as a way of life:

Per www.ignatius spirituality.com, “Ignation indifference is the capacity to let go of what doesn’t help me to love God or love others – while staying engaged with what does” and adds, “Indifference means being detached enough from things, people, or experiences to be able either to take them up or to leave them aside, depending on whether they help us to “to praise, reverence, and serve God” (Spiritual Exercises 23). In other words, it’s the capacity to let go of what doesn’t help me to love God or love others—while staying engaged with what does.”

Strengthened by both Inside Out 2 and my new “emotional blackhole” awareness, I am developing tricks to help me defy emotional gravity, recognize the signs of being drawn into the blackhole, and help me recover from the state of Ennui.

My question for you – do you identify with any of the self-defeating Inside Out emotions?  If so, what are your tricks for avoidance and recovery?