The Morning Dance

Picture it - I am on my morning commute, the sun is rising and I am bobbing and weaving around the slightly downturned car visor to avoid the blinding sun.  My highway merges with the major interstate and I have half a mile to navigate two lanes to the left before the merged highway splits off.  I signal my turn and look for my opening – but there HE is, hiding in my blindspot.  I can just make out the car to my rear left in my rearview mirror and we start the dance.  I speed up – he speeds up.  I slow down – he slows down.  I have a quarter mile remaining to traverse my 2 lanes and I am getting agitated!   I push the accelerator to the floor – my undersized 4 cylinder hiccups than blasts forward – I signal and quickly merge to the left, then left again and I am in the clear.  I look behind me, and my dancing partner has also signaled and moved the 2 lanes to the RIGHT that he needed – and it hits me!   My dancing partner wasn’t messing with me – he wasn’t trying to add stress to my life.  HE was JUST dealing with his needs – in this case – his NEED to move 2 lanes to the right in the half mile he had to work with. 

“The Dance” brought to mind the second agreement in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz – Don’t Take Anything Personally.

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves…

When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

I breathed deep and wished my dance partner well!  Well, I must confess, that is what I wish happened but unfortunately NOT what I did.  I brooded, ruminated on what a dink the driver was…  I HATE it when I do that but it is a trait deeply rooted in me.   Reminds me of a scene from the movie Liar Liar, where the attorney is getting his newly scratched car out of impound and threatens a lawsuit but confesses his reality with the ol’ “…so what I am going to do is piss and moan like an impotent jerk, and then bend over and take it up the tailpipe!”

I am reminded of a recent sermon I listened to on forgiveness that said, when wronged, you have 4 choices – Forget, Get Even, Get Bitter, Forgive.  Albert Einstein would say, “Weak people revenge, strong people forgive, intelligent people ignore.”   I would add Wounded People, like me, get Bitter!