Writing in the Dirt
You are likely aware of the Bible story where the Pharisees bring an adulterer to Jesus in an apparent Lose-Lose situation, since the Mosaic Law demands stoning her to death, and ask Jesus, “But what would you say?” Jesus stooped down and wrote something in the dirt before saying, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone…” They all, being personally convicted, dropped their stones, and left.
This story has caused a lot of speculation about WHAT Jesus was writing and much discussion about the hypocrisy of judging others. To me, I am drawn to the ACT – the wise ACT of stooping down and writing something in the dirt before saying…
As you may know from previous posts, I am a RUMINATOR who turns a matter over and over in the mind, per the freedictionary.com, ESPECIALLY when I have “harmed someone.” The “harming” usually involves “thoughtlessly” saying something painful and it’s usually a quick reaction and not something I really mean. BUT unfortunately once something is said it’s impossible to take back. It’s at this time I wish I heeded Jesus’ wisdom and stooped down and wrote something in the dirt before saying…
I believe The First Agreement from Don Miquel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements captures it: Be Impeccable with your words! Ruiz says the first agreement is the most important AND the most difficult to adhere to. He goes on to say:
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Per blinkist.com’s article What-is-the-first-agreement, “words are a double-edged sword. They have the ability to set us free by allowing us to express ourselves… However, when we use our words carelessly against others, they can turn into chains that weigh people down…. Something you say in the moment without much thought can sting and leave a scar without you even realizing.”
Ruiz encourages us to THINK about our words before we say them and connects our words to our own happiness while encouraging us to choose wisely and to choose positivity. Ruiz concludes Agreement One with,
“How much you love yourself and how you feel about yourself are directly proportionate to the quality and integrity of your word. When you are impeccable with your word, you feel good; you feel happy and at peace.” (Bolding is mine)
I concur with Ruiz – when I “thoughtlessly” speak and end up hurting someone I am usually in a bad place personally, which causes me to (in the words of The Santa Claus’s Charlie) lash out irrationally.
I commit to employing Agreement One and to use impeccable words AND to pause and think, and if needed, to write in the dirt before speaking.
My question for you – are you stooping down to think BEFORE using impeccable words?